Understanding Screen Time: The Good The Bad, and The Balance.

Screen time – we’re all familiar with it. It’s the hours we spend glued to our smartphones, tablets, computers, and TVs. Whether it’s watching videos, playing games, or scrolling through social media, screens have become a big part of our lives. But are they good or bad? Let’s break it down.

THE IMPACT OF SCREEN TIME

Screens are undoubtedly addictive, pulling us away from the people we love and potentially leaving us feeling less happy and healthy. Research even shows that the more time we spend on screens, the lower our self-esteem becomes. Crazy, right?

However, we can’t completely eliminate screens from our lives because they do have their benefits. Our kids inevitably need screen time for both play and education. But it’s not just about handing over devices; it’s about teaching them to use technology safely.

It’s important to understand the effects of screen time and educate our kids about it as well. Have age-appropriate conversations with them so they understand why excessive screen time can be harmful and why it’s essential to use it in moderation.

Here are some ways that screen time can affect their well-being, no matter what they’re doing on it.

• The effect of blue light emitted by screens.
• The dopamine hits from short-form content.
• The development of short attention spans.
• Mood fluctuations experienced after screen time.
• The normalization of escaping reality encouraged by screen use.
• The lack of impulse control generated by excessive screen exposure.
• The creation of reward pathways in the brain, similar to drugs.
•  The influence of information on their behaviors and desires.

RESOLVING THE SCREEN TIME BATTLE:

If you’re already knee-deep in it and now you’re considering enforcing limits, be prepared because you might encounter a battle when you try to do so. It will essentially be your boundaries against your child’s desires. Some of the conversations that will play out in your house might be:

Child: “When can I have my screen time?”
You: “Okay, honey, that’s fine, but you need to stop after this video, okay? I mean it this time.”
Child: “It’s not fair! All the other kids are allowed more time. You’re so mean!”

It’s going to feel like a constant tug-of-war, with you trying to balance your kids’ desire for screen time with the need to set limits and maintain family harmony.

But don’t worry, I got you!

Here’s some of the things you can do to help resolve the screen time battle using the techniques of Setting Boundaries and Validation:

• State the Boundary:Clearly communicate the boundary regarding screen time. For example, “Debby, it’s time to get off the screen and start your homework.”
• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge your child’s feelings and empathize with their struggle. For instance, “Just one more game, huh? I hear you. What are you playing? Are you close to beating your record?”
• Express Understanding: Show empathy by expressing understanding of the difficulty in adhering to the boundary. For example, “I totally get that this is going to be one of the hardest things you do today because you really want to play.”
• Reiterate the Boundary: Firmly restate the boundary while offering support. You might say, “But in about 60 seconds, we’re going to turn that off. I know you aren’t going to want to turn it off. I don’t want to turn off mine either. So, I’m going to help you, okay?”
• Validate Their Concerns: Validate any objections or complaints your child may have. For instance, if they say, “All my friends can play as much as they want. This isn’t fair,” respond with empathy, “It’s totally not fair. I get that they have different rules. Oh my goodness, when I was growing up, my mom had totally different rules for me too.”
• Reinforce the Importance of the Boundary: Remind your child of the reasons behind the boundary and why it’s important to adhere to it. You could say, “We’re still going to do it because I know that it’s important to you to do your homework. And we already talked about when you can have your screen time and how long.”

By following these steps, you can effectively set boundaries around screen time while validating your child’s feelings and maintaining a supportive and empathetic approach to resolving the screen time battle.

FINDING THE SWEET SPOT

Now that we’ve explored the challenges of managing screen time and discussed strategies for setting boundaries and validation, let’s dive into finding the sweet spot – the balance that works best for your family.

Assess Your Family’s Needs: Take some time to reflect on your family’s lifestyle, routines, and values. Consider factors such as your child’s age, developmental stage, and individual interests. Understanding your family’s unique dynamics will help you tailor your approach to screen time management.

Set Realistic Expectations: Be realistic about the amount of screen time that is appropriate for your child. Consider factors such as schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and quality family time. Setting clear expectations will help create a sense of structure and consistency.

Create a Screen Time Schedule: Establish a daily or weekly schedule for screen time that aligns with your family’s priorities. Include designated periods for homework, chores, outdoor play, and family meals. By integrating screen time into your schedule, you can ensure that it remains balanced and doesn’t overshadow other important activities.

Encourage Alternative Activities: Encourage your child to engage in alternative activities that promote physical, mental, and social well-being. Encourage outdoor play, creative pursuits, reading, and family bonding activities. Providing a variety of options will help your child develop a well-rounded lifestyle and reduce dependence on screens.

Lead by Example: Be a positive role model by demonstrating healthy screen habits yourself. Limit your own screen time, especially during family meals and quality time with your children. Show your child that there are plenty of enriching activities to enjoy beyond screens.

Monitor and Adjust: Stay vigilant about your child’s screen time habits and be prepared to make adjustments as needed. Monitor their usage, pay attention to any changes in behavior or mood, and be willing to reassess your family’s screen time guidelines if necessary.

HOW I PERSONALLY DEAL WITH SCREENTIME

I’ve found it’s easy for kids to get lost in screen time, but finding alternatives is possible with a bit of effort. For my 10 and 5-year-olds, we’ve set specific rules:

1. No screen time on weekdays unless it’s for school work or connecting with family
2. Weekends, they get 2 hours each day and an extra 2 hours on Friday evenings.
3. We prioritize video games and movies over mindless YouTube scrolling.
4. We’ve narrowed down YouTube channels aligned with their interests.
5. We approve games before downloading to avoid inappropriate ads.
6. We prefer TV over iPads to maintain good posture and eye health.

Remember finding the sweet spot with screen time is an ongoing process that requires patience, flexibility, and open communication.

By actively engaging with your child and prioritizing their overall well-being, you can create a healthy and balanced approach to screen time that works for your family.

Remember, it’s not about completely eliminating screen time, but rather finding a harmonious balance that allows your child to thrive in all aspects of their life.

You have the power to shape your children’s relationship with screens positively. By setting clear boundaries, being empathetic yet firm, and prioritizing alternative activities, you can guide your children towards a healthier and more balanced approach to screen time.

So, the next time you find yourself in a battle over screen time, remember that you’re not alone. With patience, understanding, and a bit of creativity, you can navigate these challenges and help your family find the right balance.

Hope these help!

Xoxo